Monday, March 15, 2010


I am in the process of transfering right now. A very long process of transfering. It seems as though every body else in the process of transfering too. On top of budget cuts and the impactedness of colleges I just checked online to make sure that everything that I had done was all in the clear. And I found out that even though I ordered my transcripts from a certain school they never got to one of the schools I applied to. And wouldn't you know it, the deadline was today. I thought I was going to throw up. I cried instead.

I need to go back to that school and make sure that the transcripts were sent to another school I applied to, of which, the deadline is July so I am thankful. And then I applied to one other school previously so I know all of my transcripts are there.

I have a very bad sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach that I'm not going to be attending school in the fall. And there's absolutly nothing I can do about it.

I feel lost. My friend's around me have graduated, some are getting married. And I'm here. In limbo. Alone. Constantly being reminded of the possibility of not getting accepted anywhere for this fall becuase people are constantly asking if I've heard anything.

And in my head I know that this is just a season. That it will pass. That if I don't get accepted anywhere this semester there will be another semester after that. And I know that I've done everything on my part to make it happen. But deep down, I feel like a failure. I feel like I'm stuck in this rut of life watching everyone run by me as I claw the air trying to climb out of the pit and join them. It's not a pleasant feeling.

So Lord, now would be a great time for you to reveal some big life plan. Now would be a wonderful time to show me what the heck You want me to do. I'm listening. You have my undivided attention. Where are You taking me?

1 comment:

  1. you're not the only one who feels like they are a failure...