1,000 Gifts List

It has been a while since I have written, and I must say I have missed it dearly. Writing does something for me that nothing else can. To pour thoughts from head onto page and see the jumbled mess inside my head neaty written on paper (or computer screen!) is a wonderful thing indeed.

As things start to settle down, with finals done and on break from work I hope to write more regularly once again. And, while I have not been writing, those that I follow have been.

I am constantly blown away by Ann Voskamp and the wonderful way in which she finds Jesus in the every day, seeks Him, yearns for Him, and then so eloquently and beautifuly puts into words what she is feeling, seeing, hearing, experiencing.

She had written about a list that she has, the 1000 Gifts List. It is quite simple really, the goal is to find Jesus in the ordinary, the every day. For, isn't it written, "Every good and perfect gift comes from the Father of lights..." It is about quieting yourself and and taking the time to recognize those gifts.

I, along with many others, have decided to join Ann in this gift recognizing. I have always loved lists, and have been known to make lists of things I am thankful for before, but never to this extent. I have a beautiful little journal that I am keeping record of them in and today I reached 100. Here is a glimpse of just a few of the many gifts I recieve daily.

55) warm blankets
56) biscuits and gravy
57) long car rieds with wonderful boyfriend
58) Godly women that blog
59) Christmas songs that speak of Jesus' birth
60) music that moves my soul
61) Apples to Apples
62) shared laughter
63) good pictures
64) my mom who helped me clean before I had guests over
65) jackets lovingly sacrificed for my comfort

And you? What would be on your list?

meekness

Today the state of New York rejected legalizing gay marriage. When it did not pass I posted a comment on how thankful I was that God was still moving in our country and that it didn't pass.

I opened up a can of worms.

At the time I really did not think that anyone would comment on it. At least not angrily. Those that I knew would disagree knew how I felt (and I knew how they felt because they had posted stuff about how they wanted the vote to pass...) and I really didn't expect anything to happen.

I was wrong.

I recieved a very angry comment from someone. As I was sitting there praying and wondering what to respond back I remembered Proverbs 15:1 "A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." (emphasis mine) I try to be very gentle in my responses to those who are not believers. because I have all to often met those christians that don't want to hear anybody else's side of the story and just start condemning people to hell.

I don't want to be like that.

I want people to know who I am and where I stand, and I also want them to feel open and comfortable to approach me with a topic that we might not see eye to eye on. Respectful discussion is a good thing. The Bible charges us to always be ready to give a defense to anyone that asks us the reason for the hope that is in us, with gentlessness, and respect." 1 Peter 3:15

I prayed that God would help me formulate my words and crafted a polite, but not cowardly, response. Meekness does not equate to weakness. The Biblical definition of meekness is power under control. Gentle. Kind, yet firm. When Jesus talks about blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the earth, He's not saying, "blessed are the cowardly."

The person that was upset continued to be upset and some other people took it upon themselves to comment and one person meant well but got carried away in the moment and was not very considerate or gentle. So, the fire got hotter and so did the tempers and now I have quite an assortment of angry comments sent back and forth between people. I came home from being gone and and I was reading back and forth and the last one that is directed towards me is especially angry. The person kept talking about how inconsiderate and closed minded I was.

This is when my flesh started taking over. I wanted to post back how, "funny, I'm supposed to respectful of everyone else's opinion but if mine is different from yours it's wrong." I wanted to tell this individual that I was sick and tired of people who are so "open minded" bashing on my opinions. That's what I wanted to say. Then I caught myself. Or rather, the Holy Spirit nudged me. Instead I said a quick prayer, closed the page, and am on here writing. Even though I didn't post that, I still failed at being genlte. My words and my feelings were not Christ like. Things done in secret are just as bad as if done in public. How small my faith is to respond rightly the first time around and then the second time around fall so quickly into my flesh.

Then I remembered. Didn't He tell us this would happen? Didn't He especially warn us of this? Why then, am I so surprised? John 15:8, "If the world hates you, keep in mind it hated me first." 1 John 3:13, "Do not be surprised, brethren, if the world hates you."

The person that is so angry at me. They're not really angry at me. They're angry at Him, at His words. I am just the vessle. He knows what it is like to have a world that hates Him. And yet, He still loves us enough that He came and died for us. Meek. The power to create and destroy heaven and earth, yet instead He came and walked in our shoes, took OUR sins, bore OUR punishment. Power under control. Jesus is the ultimate defintion of meek.

WFMW: gifts list

The Christmas season is fast approaching. Thanksgiving just passed by. As I prepared for Thanksgiving this year I joined with several of my friends on facebook and we made it a habit to post something that we were thankful for each day before Thanksgiving. It was amazing, I loved it. Everywhere I looked there was something to be thankful for.

Ann Voskamp, a woman from whom words of God pour out, wrote a post about a list that she keeps. She calls it The Thousand Gifts List where she continually writes down the blessings that God has given in her life. If you don't read her blog, you should. www.aholyexperience.com

In her post about The Thousand Gifts List, Ann Voskamp writes, "Too often I miss Him, oblivious, blind. I don't see all the good things that He is giving me, gracing me with, brushing my life with. True, He is everywhere, always. But maybe, before The Gift List, I thought of Him as further off, not so close. When I started to see all the things that I love bestowed upon me, I started to see Him as near, present, everywhere, showering me with good things. Seeing the things I love all around me gives me eyes to see that I am loved, that He loves me." (read the whole post here http://www.aholyexperience.com/2006/11/gift-list-thousand-things.html

At the end of her post she challenges others to join her in making their own lists. While I didn't know it, this is exactly what I was doing throughout the month of November. Assembling my gifts list.

A friend of mine had given me a very pretty journal a long time ago and I hadn't decided what to do with it. It has a purpose. It is my gifts list, with words written in my hand. It may not be as eloquent as Ann's, or as thought provoking, but, I am not Ann. I am me. And I am loved. My list is not very long...yet. However, each day as I look around I see Him in the green blades of grass, hear Him in a child's laughter, feel Him in a warm breeze, everwhere, surrounding me. Whispering little "I love yous" wherever I am.

WILMM: warm hands

WILMM reason #9

I love sitting next to my boyfriend. I love it even more when he casually puts his hand on my leg and leaves it there. I can feel the warmth of his hand through my jeans. Constant. Steady. Reassuring. A quiet declaration of love.

As I write this I lay on my tummy opposite the love of my life. He is breathing deeply, slowly, soothingly. His hand rests on the heel of my foot and I think to myself that I don't want to do anything to move. As he moves and fidgets in his sleep his hand finds my foot again, and I smile. Even in his sleep, he loves me.

I cannot wait to marry this man. To enjoy the warmth of a hand rested on me every night, not just during stolen quiet moments of napping.

WILMM: long car rides

WILMM: reason #8

I love spending time with my boyfriend. Some of my fondest memories revolve around long car rides. When we went to South Dakota this past summer, that was one of my favorite parts of the trip. It's so wonderful to have the one you love sitting right beside me. If I fell asleep, it was him I woke up to driving. If the radio was on it was him that I was singing along with. When there was something I wanted to share, it was him that I shared with. I treasure those times.

On Friday night Jason and I drove to the desert for his grandparents 50th wedding anniversary. I love that drive, especially at night. We drove back home late last night and the whole time we just talked and talked and talked and talked. I love those drives because I learn so mch about my boyfriend. I am constantly amazed at the humbleness and genuinness of my beloved. He is painfully shy around those that he doens't know, and even those that he does, he would rather sit and listen (for the most part) then say anything. Becuase of that there are so manyt thoughts that never get voiced, that I never get to hear or learn about. Long car rides are perfect for this becuase it's just he and I and he can ramble and sort out his words and say things the way he wants to without feeling a timed pressure. I love the intimacy of it. I love long car rides. I love him.

WFMW: cheap and easy gift ideas

I love homemade gifts. I think that they have a lot of personality and they show how much you care about the person that you made it for. Christmas is coming up fast so here are some of the websites that I have found with ideas that I really like.

Heirloom Ornaments- I haven't actually tried this yet but I really want to! http://genealogy.about.com/cs/holidays/p/ornament.htm

Cutest tutu's EVER! My little cousin is getting one for Christmas :) I don't know why but my link doesn't like to work, however, if you click on the "vermillion rules!" thing that pops up and then look to the right you'll see the extremly detailed tutu tutorial
http://vermillionrules.blogspot.com/2008/12/extremly-detailed-tutu-tutorial.html

Family Rules Canvas- super cute! Love the idea! My Big Lots has canvas for CHEAP, so check there if you plan on making one!
http://lindseycheney.blogspot.com/2009/09/family-rules-canvas.html

Set of leaf prints- ok, so maybe you would gift this to yourself- but I love it! This is definatly something I'll be doing in my house. I love how great she made it look!
http://asoftplacetoland-kimba.blogspot.com/2008/10/if-you-cant-afford-it.html

Stamped tea lights in CUTE box- These are the perfect gifts for those people that you want to give a little something but not break the bank- I'm going to be giving these to my co-workers this year.
http://inkingaloud.blogspot.com/2009/09/3d-tuesday-challenge-i-burn-for-you.html

I stole this from Kristin so if you read her blog avidly then you've probably already seen them.

Personalized family trees- She freehanded her trees- I'm NOT that creative. I googled tree clip art, found a couple that I liked and then printed them out on cardstock. I cut out the tree and used the remaning paper for a a stencil. I used a brown paint pain and just "colored" in my tree.I also bought a leaf punch and just punched my leaves out of scrapbook paper. Then I coated it all with some glossy modge podge. My canvases are really thick, so I won't frame them. They came out really cute!
http://wearethatfamily.com/2008/12/homespun-christmas-gifts-ii.html

Stamped coasters- she used stamps but since I don't own any stamps and I wanted to do monogrammed coasters I bought some letter stencils at wal-mart (I think they were four bucks?) and a bottle of black paint that can be used on stone (a dollar something) and then some acrylic matte gloss sealant stuff (3 bucks or so). Mine turned out really nice! I do like the stamped look though.
http://allthingsheartandhome.com/2009/06/03/adorable-little-coasters-diy/

Perspective

I'm taking a statistics class right now. The last class that I need before I can transfer from my junior college to a four year to earn my BA. Math is not my thing. Apparently statistics isn't either because I'm not doing to well. I was laying in my bed last night stressing out, thinking about how I needed to pass this class and how it would ruin everything if I don't. Ya'll, I wept. As if someone had just died. Laying there, wallowing in self-pity asking God why, WHY did he have to make it so hard for me to comprehend math?? (Pathetic...I know)

And then I get in the car this morning. My climate controlled car. I turned on my radio and I'm listening to Kay Warren speaking on aids and orphans and death. And she's getting chocked up and crying because aids and oprhans and death...they matter. I'm listening to her story of meeting a mother in Africa with aids and she asked the mother what she wanted prayer for. And Kay said she was expecting her to say something like medicine, or money for hospital bills. Do you know what she said? She said pray for my children, because after I die no one will want to take care of them.

ouch.

All of a sudden whether or not I pass this class is not even in the picture. I bawled my eyes out over this stupid class. When's the last time I cried over the fact that all over the world children are alone and dying and hungry and no one cares? When is the last time I wept for the mother who was dying of aids and couldn't provide for her family? When is the last time I bawled my eyes out because of the thousands of children in foster care in the United States who are waiting for a home?

Perspective. It speaks volumes.