It's been nearly five years ago that I sat on stage in a gold robe and graduated from highschool. It's been five long years or studying, papers, and test taking and I recently just transfered to a four year college.
I sat across from my advisor last week and listened to her list off all the classes that I was told to take that now don't count for anything once I actually reached my end goal. And I felt myself crumbling inside. The voices start popping up inside my head, "What a loser. Look at all your friends who are already done. You're never going to finish. What a let down you are."
I count the classes I have to take, four in total, before I can actually start the core of my major. Four more classes. I am frusterated, but I can do this.
I look online for the classes I need, determined to get them done and out of the way, and my heart sinks even further. All general education classes. All offered during the time that I work. I can't graduate without these classes, but I can't quit my job for a ten week course either. I come up with a plan that involves switching work shifts with a co-worker on certain days for ten weeks and just hope that my co-worker will be willing to do so.
I approach my co-woker and explain my situation and her response is a brief, "I'm sorry, I don't want to." She walks away and I feel the panic rising and I begin to panic more because it is such a struggle to keep myself calm.
In an act of desperation I ask my last resort, another co-worker, who I know it will be a sacrifice for her to switch. She looks at me and with such grace says these simple words, "Yes. I'll switch with you. I don't mind." And I find myself bursting into tears in the middle of an elementary school lunch room as all that pent up worry is relieved. I am humbled by the sacrifice and the tears just keep streaming and I feel ridiculous for crying over a biology class and in the middle of work, none the less.
And Ann's words pop into my head and I remember. "Life is not an emergency." And I know that if I am full of grattitude I am not full of stress or worry...and I count...continue to count, to hang onto these God graces, my life line...
779) Brenda and her grace
780) the gentle reminder that "life is not an emergency!" and the truth behind those words!
781) each class taken means one less to do
782) long chats with Dragica and her encouraging words
783) understanding teacher at work
784) tears of relief
785) innocent and sincere thank you's from a sweet thrid grade girl
786) hands holded completed cross stitch- months of hard work coming to fruition!
787) dreams of a beautiful friend's beginning to take shape
788) baby blankets to make!
789) items crossed off of a check list- just focusing on one thing at a time!