WILMM: self control

Why I love my man reason #21

I recently got home from a trip where I was visiting my sweet friend. While I was there she gave me this book to read by Shaunti Feldhahn. 

The book describes the way men think and process. It describes how men are visual and are able to keep a "mental Rolodex" in their minds of what they have seen. And, because men are visual, it is a conscious effort and choice that they make to not let their eyes linger too long where they shouldn't.
 
As I was reading this book I realized something about my wonderful boyfriend. I have never seen him look at another woman. Really. Never. Not even in an appreciative and very innocent, "she's very pretty" kind of way. Knowing what I know from reading that book it also made me realize that the fact that I have never seen my boyfriend look at another woman isn't an accident. It's a testament to him honoring and respecting me. 

In the past I have never understood when girls talked about their boyfriend's commenting or looking at other women. My boyfriend has never uttered a word about any girl he has ever seen. I have never seen him linger, or take a double loo.

The safety and security that I have because of how he handles himself is irreplaceable. The longer I date this man and the more I learn about him the more I love him.

when the most wonderful time of the year...isn't

Last Friday night I sat in a normal living room on a normal Friday night during Bible study. We went around the room for prayer requests. Pray for this family who just experienced the death of the mother after their daughter was burned over 40% of her body just a few weeks ago. Pray for our friends, cancer has returned. Pray for my co-worker, her son might have autism. Pray for a friend who continues to battle addictions. Peace for the family, it's their first Christmas with their son in jail. Pray for their marriage. For his job. For her illness. 


In a season of joy, Christmas, this season where we are supposed to be reminding ourselves that our Lord has come to save and rescue and heal us we focus on wrapping paper, pretty lights, music. I sat there and it hit me like a ton of bricks; during the happiest season of the year, a time that I have fully been partaking in,  people are hurting and suffering and feeling so alone. 

We prayed. I wept. 

I drove and saw Christmas lights with my boyfriend last night. I could have been sitting next to his hospital bed. I wrote Christmas cards and passed them out at to co-workers. I could have been writing a bereavement card for a family member. I baked cookies and took them to work. I could have been wondering if I will be able to get a job to support myself.

This is where I struggle. In a time where we, I,  should be celebrating Christ and His love for us I do the exact opposite of what Christ would do in my place. I overlook those who are hurting and grieving and are lost. I sit in my happy little world and never stop to think about those whose pain is being magnified because of the season that it is. As I sat in my Bible study listening to the burdens of so many people being spilled before the Throne of Grace I prayed that God would heal my heart, not from a broken marriage or the loss of a loved one or a serious illness, but from indifference. 

My prayer this Christmas is that I will have His heart. That I will see people as He sees them and that I will be able to offer just a little bit of His joy and peace to others, not just during Christmas, but all year 'round. 

pintrest

Ok, have ya'll heard of the pinterest? I'm late jumping onto this bandwagon but let me tell you, I have jumped with reckless abandon. It all started when Kristin posted what she did with her kids on their last day of summer.She got her inspiration for this awesome piece of art from pinterest!

 I've spent the past two hours searching the DIY section alone. There is still a whole 'nother world of pinterest that I have left untouched!

Seriously, I am AMAZED at how creative people are. Blown away. I love, love, love making my gifts and I think that this website will come in super handy around Christmas time!

Just LOOK at some of these CUTE ideas!

How about making a memory jar of your vacations?

 Can you believe that this wreath is made from TISSUE PAPER!?

I LOVE this frame that depicts what the best things in life are! Even better- make your own with their tutorial! 

 

Wanna see what's on my pinterest boards? Have you found any awesome crafts from pinterest? Do share! :)

1,000 gifts list #1027-1043

I just got home from a week long stay at Prairie Creek Redwoods State Park. John Muir writes, "Everybody needs beauty as well as bread, places to play in and pray in, where nature may heal and give strength to body and soul alike." That is what this trip was. A time to get away from the business of every day life, to breathe in clean fresh air, to laugh and fellowship with friends, to marvel at the beauty God has created.

The gifts continue, at home or away on vacation. In the jungle of a city that I live in or the rawness of wild land hundreds of miles away. It is beautiful, the way my Father coordinates things. :) One of the most memorable moments of my trip was a night in which I had just finished doing dishes and felt such a longing to worship. All of a sudden I heard music from a couple of campsites away and it was worship music! I gathered up my courage to go ask complete strangers if I could join them and they kindly said yes. It was a beautiful night singing praises to my Jesus under a blanket of stars and in the shadows of magnificent Redwoods. J

1027) mist on tree tops

1028) warm camping breakfast

1029) his little "I love you" touches

1030) shafts of light through giant Redwoods 

  

1031) late night campfire chats

1032) study Bibles

1033) boys and their walking sticks/staffs

1034) feathery ferns

 

  

1035) banana slugs in jars

1038) bundling up close to him during campfire chat

1039) mug of hot tea

1040) spider webs across trails

 

 

1041) worship songs around campfires

1042) universal believers, the binding tie of Jesus

1043) trees that take your breath away and the blood that was shed on the Tree that took my sins away

 

 

 

 

WILMM: lead me

Why I love my man reason #20
My boyfriend is pretty introverted and shy. He has a servant's heart and I am so grateful for that.  The following statments sum him up pretty well, "Still waters run deep" and "actions speak louder than words." Because he is so quiet there are times when he will say or do something that just blows me away. A couple of weeks ago my sweet boyfriend posted this song on his facebook with the following comment, "I love this song cause it reminds us men that we need to remember that we are suppose to be there to help lead our families spiritually. This is a good thing to think about for all of us without families yet so that we can use this time to help prepare ourselves to help led them. Summation: Learn it now so we can pass it on and not regret not being able to share more with our families." (I especially love the summation :D)
I was touched at the depth of this song because it is so true. I am not married yet but I desire a godly husband who will lead me. I was even more touched that this is my boyfriend's prayer.

On Easter we went to a sunrise service that our beautiful Bible study did together. We went to a local canyon and climbed to the top of this little hill and watched the sun rise, it was beautiful. For our little service one of the families made crosses out of popsicles and each person took a cross. On our crosses we wrote what was on our mind. Some wrote about the beauty of God in nature, others about Easter, some their favorite Bible verse or a popular song lyric.

We went around and talked about what we had written and why. It was beautiful and moving. My sweet boyfriend wrote on his cross, "Lead me". Words cannot express the love that I have for this man. It is humbling and beautiful to know that the man I will commit my life to is committing his life to Jesus so that he will be a better future husband and father.

If I know that my husband is being lead by God I can follow him anywhere.

1,000 gifts list #895-905

I celebrated my birthday and Easter this past week. It was beautiful. I recognize more and more how very blessed I am, how undeserving I am of His love, how merciful and gracious He is. Fighting to keep my eyes open to His love and continuing to scratch out my list of gifts one at a time...
895) wonderful boyfriend of four years, still walks me to my car :)
896) cloudy birthday skies
897) a room full of kids perfectly imperfectly singing happy birthday
898) dinner with Jason and Daddy
899) Marlene and her sweet family creatively singing me happy birthday from 1800 miles away
900) black starling finding grubs in the grass
901) flowers underneath back porch window, all in bloom!
902) renewed arboretum pass
903) amazing grace! The fact that it pleased God to have His fullness dwell in Him...even to the point of the cross!
904) sunrise Easter service- He is risen!
905) a boyfriend who desires to be led by Christ and then subsequently be a godly leader himself

why thankfulness really matters (1,000 gifts list #s 876-885)

It was April fool's day that the heartbreaking news reached our ears. My parents and I had just gotten home from Bible study, a study about giving thanks in every season of our life, no matter what the circumstance. The message machine was beeping and my mom pressed the play button and our world changed. The voice of my Grandpa filled the room and his straight forward words, "I have some pretty bad news. I have stomach cancer." felt like a punch in the gut. The mind races to four years ago when a similar call from my Grandma, his wife, came and we learned she had brain cancer. She went to be with Jesus not six months later.As my mom and I held each other and cried she whispered these words to me, "give thanks, give thanks."


In that moment giving thanks was the last thing I wanted to do. Giving thanks was no where on my radar. I felt bitterness and anger welling up inside of me, my own cancer, eating away at my soul. We cried. We talked a bit. My parents went to bed. 


I know the cure to bitterness and anger. I know it because I've been practicing it for over a year. But you see, the cure is not a magic pill you take once and the cure lasts forever. No, it's a practice. A daily practice. Much like physical exercise once you stop the muscles lose their strength. It's a cure that only works if it is practiced daily.

My mom and I had both just finished reading Ann Voskamp's book 1,000 Gifts.  We each have a gratitude journal but I knew that this practice would help everyone in our family, not just my mom and I. I also knew that there was no way that my brothers would just start writing in a journal if I gave them one. I needed somewhere where our family could practice eucharisteo together. Iron sharpens iron and this practice of giving thanks with each other can only help to heal the broken pieces inside of us and isn't life just easier when we do things together?


So I choose a spot in our house where everyone frequents and I take a long roll of butcher paper. I choose a verse that fits where my family is in the here and now and write it on top, along with some quotes from Ann and these simple instructions, "giving thanks, all of us, together, one by one."

 

I scratch out a couple of gifts on the list, mostly just to demonstrate what I mean, and as I write, as I am forced to think of the ways He loves my heart is lightened. I think I am beginning to see that all IS grace. With that recognition I am able to understand more fully the words of that famous song, "amazing grace, how sweet the sound..."

I am overjoyed as I watch the list grow. I love that it is on our fridge and I also love that those who are not in our family feel free to add to the list. 

I replaced the paper last night. Collectively we had recorded 49 gifts and it was time for a fresh start. I put up a new piece of paper, a new verse and a new quote. And the journey continues because we can never out thank God for the many gifts He's given us!



 My list continued, looking forward to breaking 1,000!


876) the face that the size of the tumor does not determine the presence of the Savior!
877) Jared's music filling the house 
878) clean microwaves
879) blustery days!
880) roses in bloom, everywhere!
881) rain and sun together!
882) Daddy home :)
883) modern day technology
884) grace, grace, always grace
885) so many different people's handwriting on the list :)