Grace

Grace. Sometimes I can overflow with it. It is my middle name.

Tonight, is not one of those times. Usually I get along with my brother wonderfully. Not tonight. We rarely fight, but when we do it usually over one thing: the television.

I am rarely home, and when I am home I rarely have control of the tv. I have two little brothers and a neighbor who (like my boyfriend) lives at our house. The tv is usually hooked up to an xbox. If it's not hooked up to an xbox my dad is watching a football game or nascar race. My mom and I get the short end of the stick when it comes to the tv. Partially because my mom can't operate it...but that's another story in itself.

When I do get to watch I compromise and watch things that yes, I don't mind watching, but are not my first choice. I don't do this because I'm nice. I do it because otherwise I wouldn't be able to hear the show above all of my brother's groanings. I'm not kidding.

My family has an unspoken rule that if you leave the room for an extended period of time you forfeit your right to the tv. At least, that's my brother's rule for me. Funny, how it doesn't seem to work the other way around. And heaven FORBID I should TALK on my phone AND watch tv. Or, even worse, I read a book *GASP* and watch tv. Oh no, those are cardinal sins in my brother's book of rules about tv watching.

Unless he's the one doing it. You see, my brother got a call from his girlfriend and he left the room. For over ten minutes. Forfeit number one. Then he came back in and was so upset that I changed the channel. According to his rules, I should be allowed to. Then he continued to talk on the phone. Cardinal rule number 2. \

So, I did what any mature young adult would do. I continued to change the channel to my show. Then Greg just turned off the tv. So I left it off. If I didn't get to watch what I wanted to...neither did he. After a while he decided to go into his room. Not without taking one of the remotes and leaving the door to his room open so that he could sabotage any chance of me watching a show I like though.

So now, here I am at almost eleven at night not going into my room to sleep because he'll come in and turn on the tv.

And yes, I realize that this situation is completely juvenile and ridicules. But you know what, sometimes my sinful side gets the better of me and I just need to win.

Jared: Squirrel Whisperer

Let me tell ya'll a little story.

One upon a time, on a street that was very residential a squirrel found her way and made it her home. On this street was a house with a yard. In the yard was a beautiful Chinese Elm tree, the most beautiful of all the trees available. In that tree she built a nest. Carefully, lovingly, for her future babies.

The future came and 3 darling little versions of herself emerged. Where the mommy goes after the birth of her babies no one knows, but we do know this, that the babies were old enough to eat solid food, yet still quite clumsy, and very curious.

In the house of the yard where the tree was, a boy lived. A fifteen year old boy. Now this boy, that we will call Jared, because, well, that's his name, saw the baby squirrels frolicking in the tree branches. So he did what any rational being would do, he started talking to them. Not in regular human speech, no, he...chattered. Like a squirrel. And apparently the baby squirrels spoke the same dialect as Jared because they started descending the tree, taking the branches that come down and getting close to him and watching him.

Now, of the three siblings, Shag was the bravest of them all. And, after hours of sitting under the tree chattering to the squirrels Jared started to reap the benefits of his patience and perseverance. Shag crawled down and Jared extended his hand with a peanut in it. And Shag promptly bit Jared's finger.

Unfortunately, Jared's older sister was not yet home from school to take pictures of this momentous event. However, she did take pictures once she arrived home.

The squirrel whisperer. Notice the gloves. That's because squirrels bite.

This is a squirrel feeder. It's nailed directly to the tree in which the squirrels live. On it are some peanuts, oats, pieces of kiwi and grapes. Oh, and the blue thing? A peanut butter lid containing water.

This is Shag. He's a weresquirrel.

A letter to those that use the vacuum cleaner in my house

Dear fellow vacuum cleaner users,

I was hoping that this day would not come. I have begged, pleaded, yes, threatened even so that this day would not arrive. But alas, you have forced me to pen this letter. I have tried to be merciful and gracious, but you have brought this upon yourself.

I have tried to see your point of view. I have listened to your opinion. And, dear family members, you are wrong. I do not understand how hard it is to empty the canister out at the end of each use. For, in by doing so, when the next person needs to use the vacuum all they have to do is get it out and use it. But no. You insist on leaving it full.

So now, I have taken desperate measures. I have written and taped a sign onto the canister of the vacuum cleaner explaining proper vacuum cleaner canister etiquette. I am embarrased for you. Do you feel no shame? Can you imagine having visitors and them seeing that you are so inept at using the vacuum cleaner that there is now a note taped to it?

Oh family, I love you. But please, please empty out the canister!

love, your fellow vacuum cleaner user,
Elizabeth

summer fun

Last night I had been talking on the phone with my girlfriend until pretty late. When I hung up my brother came in my room and asked if I wanted to go play some games with our other brother and neighbor. I told him sure and went to go play with him.

We played a whole bunch of games. One of them was called, "what's in your milk?" It works by one person thinking of something, anything, such as cheerios. When they have decided on the one thing they are going to answer with they tell everyone that they are ready. Then everyone else who is playing asks, "What's in your milk?" and that person has to answer whatever they chose, in this case, "cheerios." The game continues with all of the other players bombarding you with really random questions and the reply always has to be "cheerios." You don't go in a circle when asking of the questions, everyone just chimes in while the person answering has to answer. The game ends when the person answering laughs.

Then we played the question game. You go around in a circle and you ask a question to the person next to you. They in turn ask a question to the person next to them. No one ever answers the questions and you're out if you laugh or smile. James, our neighbor, was SO good at this one. I sat next to him and received my questions from him and he would ask things like, "If the couch was nailed to the ceiling would you paint that clock red?" He could do it with SUCH a serious face! I was always out, I laugh way to easily.

We also played a game where you had to talk non stop for a minute without saying "um" or "like". You were given a topic, and you could make everything up, but you had to continue talking and you couldn't say "um" or "like". If you did, you were squirted with water. It was intense. My brothers are super funny so everything they said made us laugh. I'm not funny but at least I could avoid saying "um" and "like" so happily, I remained quite dry. My one brother, Jared, got the topic of "why do the french have such small mustaches?" He RAN with it, oh man, I was laughing so hard I was crying.

Then we played a whole bunch of concentration. A game that requires you to hit your knees twice, clap, and then snap. You continue doing that and the point is to keep a rhythm going. Then you choose a topic, such as fruit. One person starts by saying a fruit and you go around the circle. Each person has to say a fruit, without repeating any other fruit previously said, while keeping the rhythm. The proper time to say anything is when you are hitting your knees. If you say a fruit that's already been used or you say it out of rhythm you're out. After someone gets out you change the topic and continue until there is a winner. Ya'll, I rock at this game. :) I may not be funny but I can keep a good rhythm and have a good enough memory not to repeat things.

We stayed up until FIVE in the morning playing these games. It was so much fun. I love the last little bits of summer when you can stay up all night and sleep all day. All too soon it will be over, but the memories are wonderful!